The Royal Flush
The Monkees get involved in a plot endangering the life of The Princess Bettina, Duchess of Harmonica.
Sigmund and Klondike: "The streetcar is going up the hill.
A fox has stolen a chicken. The onions ripen in spring. Especially when it is raining."
- It always worked for Errol Flynn.
- They say "309" four times.
- The scene when they're jumping on the ground is so cute!
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Monkee See, Monkee Die
The Monkees go to scary mansion to learn about their inheritance and must to stay overnight.
Micky and Mike to Davy: "He's in love.
Ya, and for the very first time today."
Micky to Peter: "Don't do that."
No
wonder where this famous quote started from!
Micky and the Boat Person: "Do you speak our language.
Yes, I do. Can you send an
S.O.S.? Yes, I do. What is your location? Yes, I do."
Logic: The middle of the foggy season would not be 1966, it would be in the early 1900s if the season
was from 1820 to 1975.
I did the math.
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Monkees Vs. Machine Mike
gets a job in a computerized toy factory for rent money.
Computer and Peter: "Occupation?
Peter, you dig? Pete.
You dig Pete. Occupation: Pete-digger."
Computer: "In your spare time you are a man."
Mike to Computer: "I bet you're a real swinger when you're turned on!"
Micky: "My mommy won't let me play with toys that burn, or bash, or scratch, or go boom."
Logic: Why do they ask occupation if it's for a job????
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Your Friendly Neighbourhood Kidnappers
The manager of a band sells The Monkees on a publicity stunt: a phony kidnapping.
Micky: "I'm gonna be a thstar!"
Peter: "If there's one thing I can't stand is late kidnappers!"
Micky: "Ummm...Peter you're stiff! Ummm...Peter you're not stiff!"
Peter during the interview: "The universe is permeated with the odor of turpentine!"
- The Vincent Van Gogh-Gogh.
-They rip eachothers clothes off...scary.
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The Spy Who Came In From the Cool
Foreign agents mistake The Monkees for spies and give them microfilm which they must get
back.
Micky: "Hello, Chief? Send in Shwartz, Harold B."
Mike: "This cigarette lighter is very special. It contains a miniature Japanese camera in it. And a
miniature Japanese cameraman.
AHHH!!! Scorched you again there, Yamashito!"
Davy: "Imagine that, wrong show!"
Madame and Peter: "I grow impatient!
I
grow daffodils!"
Logic: During Steppin' Stone, they put in clips of The Kind of Girl I Could Love. Mike's guitar is
beige (rather than red-black) and Davy's maracas are red (rather than red and green) AND When Madame karate-chops Mike and
he falls on the ground, his hat flies off and when Madame gets the microfilm from him, the hat is on him. And when Davy asks
him if he's okay, the hat is on.
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Success Story
Grandfather Jones is coming for a visit, so the boys try to make Davy look rich and successful.
Micky: "Monkee Car Conditioners, at your service!"
Davy to Peter: "Get me my comb.
Get it yourself."
- Anyone else cry during the parting scene?
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The Monkees In A Ghost Town
Stranded in a ghost town when The Monkeemobile runs out of gas, the guys are held as prisoners
by robbers.
Micky: "That was for the benefit of any of you who tuned in late. Now, back to the show."
Peter: "We shouldn't be behind the bar, were too young!"
Logic: At the very beginning of the episode, The Monkees are wearing their grey pants and red six-button
shirts, and in the next scene, they're wearing regular clothes when they get into "The Ghost Town".
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Dont Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
Davy unknowingly receives a horse from a boy and The Monkees try to get it back for him to have on
his father's farm.
Mike: "Well Peter, you've reached a new low."
"I've got to go.....
Micky: ....milk the chickens."
Davy: ....feed the chickens to the cows."
Peter: ....feed the south-forty."
Mike: ....plough the cow."
- It looks like Micky really did bite (and lick) Mike's hand!
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The Chaperone
Davy
isn't allowed to date a general's daughter unless there is a chaperone present, which has Micky dressing as a woman during
a party to save the day.
Davy and Micky: "She's stoned.
Drunk."
Ms. Arcadian and General Vandenburg: "Have you ever been to Palm Beach?
Yes! Is it nice?"
Mike to Micky: "Okay man, keep your dress on."
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Here Come The Monkees (Original Pilot Film)
The boys help a girl who's in love with Davy pass a history
exam.
Davy and Mike: "You guys must be out of your birds!!!!
You're the only one qual-i-fied."
Mike to the Guard: "You're evil!"
Mike: "If they catch us it means a life sentence!"
Peter: "You'll never take us alive!"
Micky: "They're gonna get us, they're gonna get us!!!!"
Screen Test of Mike (Bob or Bert talking with Mike): "Mike, were you ever strong and silent girl before?
Man, if you ever ask me that again...".
- Mikes dart lands on Ringo Starr in the picture of The Beatles.
- Is it just me or does Davy look constipated when he sings sometimes, especially during the fast version
of I Wanna Be Free????
Logic: I know that the episode aired about a year after the making of it, but please look back to the
changes!!!! Micky's and Davy's hair are both longer. You can definitely see the change during the fast version of I Wanna
Be Free and Let's Dance On AND Mike grins a lot and his hat also changes while they sing I Wanna Be Free from blue-black to
dark green.
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Monkees A La Carte
A gangster takes over the boys' favourite restaurant, so they disguise themselves as The Purple Flower Gang.
Peter: "The floor has nothing to say. The wall says to try the ceiling."
Peter: "Peter Tork: Guitar, bass, trombone."
Logic: You can see the strings to the tray that hold up the dishes when they all cheer for Peter and
"drops".
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I've Got A Little Song Here
Madness begins when Mike is conned out of $99.95
by a phony music publisher who says hell put his song in a movie.
(Davy falls off the piano bench) Micky: "I've got that run-down feeling."
Mike: "Hello Mr. Conway, this is Mike Nesmith. No, Mike Nesmith - Nesmith, yeah. You probably don't
remember, but we met on a bus about five years ago...."
M.D. Himself: "I don't like it, paint it red."
- All of the last names used for Nesmith were: Nipsmouth, Nessman, Nesselrude, Nashburg, Nessbaum,
Nishwash, Nismush.
- If everyone seemed so excited when Mike wrote a song, then who wrote all of the other songs that
they sang if not for Boyce/Hart, Goffin/King and everyone else?
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One Man Shy (A.K.A. Peter And The Debutante)
Shy Peter gets help from the guys when he tries to win the heart of a pretty and classy
girl.
Mike: "If you really dig a chick, you should tell her, not steal her picture."
Micky: "Farnsworth old bean."
Im sorry,. but this line just cracks me up.
The Monkees in Disguise:
Davy: "Oui, mon cheri." ( Yes, my love he says to Ronnie....lol)
Mike to Ronnie: "What are you ----- a nut?"
- Micky's chin really sticks out during the scene when Valerie and Ronnie come to the beach house.
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Dance, Monkee, Dance
The Monkees try to get out of a lifetime contract for dancing lessons.
Peter: "Rrroarrr." I'm sorry, but this is just wrong.
Mike: "Don't object so much, you'll live longer."
Micky and Peter: "That little guy looks just like Davy.
It is Davy!"
- All the old ladies seem to like having Davy as their dance instructor. He's a cutie.
- Mike is actually dancing for once (when he becomes a "Smoothie").
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Too Many Girls (A.K.A. Davy and Fern)
A controlling mother is determined to use Davy to start her daughter's career in show-biz.
Micky: "He's gonna be the death of us yet!"
Micky and Peter (they say it at different times): "I myself am deeply jealous."
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The Son Of A Gypsy
Threatened with torture, The Monkees steal a priceless Maltese Vulture for gypsies.
Marco: "Shake, rattle your roll!!!"
Mike: "Wallet mine, his now."
- Micky accidentally hits Mike in the "fighting" scene.
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The Case of the Missing Monkee
The Monkees almost lose Peter by the abduction of him by a nuclear scientist.
Davy: "Swanee River......"
Mike and Davy: "We start looking for Peter.
I can't. Why not? I'm sick!"
Peter and Doctor: "You can't do that to me. I need love and understanding.
My mother rejected me. My sister resented me. I've lost all my confidence and now, this operation. What is that? Ben Casey, Act 1."
Logic: 1438 North Beechwood ? ! ? ! Brain damage, Davy? The address is 1334 Beechwood. I don't know
about the North part.
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I Was A Teenage Monster
A mad scientist transplants The Monkees' musical talent into the body of a monster.
All: "Science must be served!"
I
love Davy's wig in this scene.....lol.
Micky and Mike: "The Beatle hair-cut, dark glasses, some groovy clothes, and a guitar. How does he
look?
He looks like a near-sighted monster with a guitar."
Mike: "Mellow ? ! ? !"
Android: "I would do this room in French Provincial. The colour scheme should be lavender and puce."
Ha ha. They turned the monster gay....
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Find The Monkees (A.K.A. The Audition)
A TV producer searches for The Monkees, unaware that they can't get to see him.
Jolly Green Giants: "Yo, Ho, Ho!"
Ms. Chomsky to Hubbell Benson: " You're rude, impolite, impatient....."
Mike during the interview: "I'd like to see all the kids in the country wearing their hair like theyd
like to wear it."
- They went in front of "NBC" Studios.
How
cute.
- James Frawley was on the Directory when The Monkees were heading to the elevator.
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The Monkees In The Ring
A crooked boxing promoter convinces Davy can be world champ.
Davy: "Thank-you very much, can I have a cookie?"
Micky posing as Davy's Italian Father: " He don't listen to his Poppa no more!"
Logic: Davy's mother died, so how could he call her every time he won a fight? But yes, it would be
reasonable thing to do every time you won a match.
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The Prince and The Paupers
Davy doubles for a Prince to save his Throne.
Micky and Peter: "Girls find him very sweet.
He makes their teeth decay."
Girl and Prince Ludlow: "You may kiss my hand.
You may kiss my ring."
Mike and Davy: "If an apple seed grows wings it will fly away a beautiful butterfly. But if a butterfly
turns into an apple seed, it will just lay there on the ground.
What's that mean? I just don't have any idea."
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The Monkees At The circus
The Monkees pose as trapeze artists to save a circus.
Micky and Mike: "It's great, it's terrific, it's the best show on Earth!
What is that? It's a theme song from an old T.V. Series. I know it from somewhere."
Davy (as a Mozzarella Brother): "No, eez amazeeng. Am incredabul!"
Say this with a French accent to understand.
Victor to Peter: "Do you use a net?
No, just a little spray (touching his hair)."
Micky: "Little joke, like that big."
- Peter starts laughing behind his doctors mask when Mike talks about being a cotton picker in the
summer time.
- The whole conversation with The Mozzarella Brothers is hilarious.
- A Texan with a French accent.....
Funny.
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Captain Crocodile
(this is one of my favourite episodes)The star of a local kiddie T.V. show fears The Monkees are taking over and tries
to get rid of them.
Peter: "On my charming and delightful is the left moderator, Micky Dolenz!"
Peter and Davy: "No one except Frogman!
And
Reuben the Tadpole!"
Peter: "Kretch ? ! ? !"
Davy: "Holy frog's legs, that really makes me mad!"
Micky and Mike: "Once upon a time in the land of Kirshner...
And he came across the wicked step-ladder.....
"
- "TEX" Nesmith.
How could you
not love that?
Logic: Mike's guitar changes from black/red to white/beige when they sing Valleri.
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Monkees A La Mode
The Monkees receive an award for "Typical Young Americans".
Davy: "Hark, I hear a knock upon yon door! Ooooh!"
Mike and Micky mouthing words: "Rob Roy Fingerhead ? ! ? !"
Rob Roy Fingerhead and Mike: "Where's your style?
Oh, we usually keep it in the bathtub."
Mike: "Hold on there, Quagie-Poo, I've got a few things to say."
- Once again, Davy looks constipated when he's singing You Just May Be The One.
Sorry Davy Fans, but it's true.
Logic: I just realized this: Davy can't qualify for a Typical Young American because he's British,
not American!!!!
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Alias Micky Dolenz
Micky's
striking resemblance to a gangster gets The Monkees involved with The Mob.
Micky: "My mother used to call me Goo-Goo Eyes."
Now my mom calls me this. I was watching this episode and my mom was there. She calls me this name as a joke, same
with my sister (she calls me Baby Face as well).
Baby Face and Micky: "So's your old man?
So's your old man? Get lost! Get lost! Okay, okay. Okay, okay. You're pretty good. Eh, you're pretty
good. Shut up, ya got it already!" (My
other sister and I were reading a comical book on Pierre Trudeau [Ex- Prime Minister of Canada] and
there was a blurb that said "So's your old man?". )
Micky (as Baby Face) to Tony: " No Tony, I was a has-been. Now, I'm an am-is."
- Micky parks the car off to the left too much in the parking space at the beginning of the episode.
Logic: Micky already said he was born in Burbank, Los Angeles (in Captain Crocodile), not Sandusky,
Ohio. Unless the character of Micky grew up there, which I highly doubt.
I was watching Jeopardy one day and a question came on and was about Ohio. I thought the answer
would be Sandusky. It was! How
freaky is that?
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Monkee Chow Mein
The Monkees
get into trouble with spies when Peter takes the wrong fortune cookie.
Dragon Man and Micky: "You expect me to believe you make money singing like that?
I didn't say we made money, I said we sing."
Davy to Toto: "You're a nail-biter and your mother never, ever loved you!"
Mike to Toto: "You're an ugly person. Ugly, ugly, ooh are you ugly. Nobody likes you, least of all,
me."
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Monkee Mother
When The Monkees don't pay their rent, the landlord moves in another tenant
who takes over the place and The Monkees.
Micky and Mike: "My arms, my arms. I can't move my arms.
I can't move your arms either."
Davy: "Your eyes are like cupcakes floating in a sea of sour cream."
Logic: Milly doesn't get Mike's name right when he's cleaning (she calls him Micky), but she knows
his last name (she says Mr. Nesmith).
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The Monkees On The Line
The
Monkees get everyone's wires crossed when they take over an answering service to get extra money.
Mike and Suicide Girl: "Who's this message for?
It's for the whole rotten world. The whole rotten world? Sorry, they're not listed."
Micky: "It was our pleasure, Mr. Poopsie!"
Mike (Davy and Peter cut in): "Through my clever manipulation of her heart strings and my masculinity
and my persuasiveness...
She jumped out the window."
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The Monkees Get Out More Dirt
The Monkees' friendship is threatened when they all fall in love with the same girl and compete
for her.
All: "Soap, soap, soap....."
Micky: "Thought I'd come by and see my old lint, lant, uh aunt!"
Davy on the phone with Mrs. Conquest: "This is David Armstrong Jones from the British B.B.C. . That
stands for Better Be Clean. ......Oh yes, England does swing like a pendulum door."
All (at separate times): "Do fish swim?/And fish can swim."
- Davy looks great with the artist hair.
- I wonder if the red tights Micky had on while "flying/dancing" were apart of the Monkee-Men costume
of his.
- I love how April says Micky.
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Monkees In Manhattan (A.K.A. The Monkees Manhattan Style)
Trying to make their debut in Broadway, The Monkees get into trouble.
Davy: "My family dates back to nearly 400 years to the earliest rich people."
Davy and Mike: "What's the name of that ranch you own again?
Houston."
Mike during the interview: "Why do I want a house? Why do you like that shirt Bob? Why do I want a
house....To keep the wind off of me! It's unbelievable! Well, you get wet if it rains and you live in a parking lot."
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The Monkees At The Movies
The Monkees
have a run-in with a snobby movie star on the set as extras in a beach movie.
Micky: "Look at that rock, it's a phoney rock. Look at that fish, it's a phoney fish. Look at that
girl, oh ya."
Mike and Davy: "Davy, you drew the short straw.
The story of my life."
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Monkees On Tour
The
Monkees' concert in Phoenix, Arizona.
Davy: "I am picking the sandwich up. I am putting the sandwich in my mouth. I am biting the sandwich."
Davy: "You ain't got no wings you chicken!"
Peter and Micky: "Can I have Micky's room please, Micky Dolenz?
ZzzzzZZZZzzzz. Oh! Micky!!!"
Micky: "Mr. Kritchlow, your chickens are dead."
Mike announcing Davy at the concert: "...the world's best looking midget, Davy Jones!"
